Like in every year we have see great stories in cinemas as well as the worst ideas put on film. Some are easily identifiable as bad films long before their release but when it really hurts is when a project looks promising but turns out to be a total failure when shown.
I stayed away from obvious disasters like Grown Ups 2, Movie 43 or After Earth. However there were some that made me curious or some that I expected to be decent but ended up being a failure. There are 2 pretty bad films, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and The Purge, that have a so-bad-it’s-good quality to them that will not make my list because of my slight enjoyment of viewing the ridiculousness involved. At least they didn’t take themselves seriously.
I. THE COUNSELOR
Boring, and the biggest waste of a perfectly good cast. I blame the weak script.
II. KICK-ASS 2
Another perfectly fine first film ruined by a sequel. It took everything fun and funny from the first installment and made it cliche and stupid.
An unfrightening ghost story about two little girls raised by an evil spirit that got more ridiculous and stupid with each second.
A highly anticipated summer release that turned out to be a disappointing and typical action movie story.
I hate biopics because they always try to sugarcoat the events depicted and that they aren’t true to real life. This one felt like it was trying to present this woman as a victim of abuse and make us sympathize with her. Manipulating films are the worst. Don’t tell me how to think.
8. THE FAMILY
Given the cast involved it should have been an interesting film but I didn’t laugh or care about this character. I usually like antiheroes because they are interesting but these ones didn’t even manage to do that.
7. STUCK IN LOVE
A film about a family of writers, badly written typical story with weak performances.
The director couldn’t make something interesting out of this so he made his characters emotionally unavailable, cheating and drug addicted in the most unappealing and dull way possible.
6. TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D
Leatherface scarred my childhood, (I’m talking about the 2003 film, not the original, if I saw that first I would have been mentally unstable now) at a time when every horror film, no matter how mediocre, scared me and haunted me in my sleep. This sequel to the original 1974 film, is stupid, badly acted and poorly made.
No wonder it got a January release.
A bad remake of a rather mediocre film, Brian dePalma could have made this film interesting and sexy but chose instead to make it boring and by the end narratively incomprehensible.
4. LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER
The worst kind of films are the ones that think they’re serious and fail greatly. The Butler is a badly written melodrama depicting events that never took place to emphasize the white guilt message that is going for.
To call it the poor man’s 12 Years a Slave would be a compliment.
3. THE HOST
A boring and dull adaptation of a sci fi YA novel from the writer who brought us Twilight. I actually had hopes for this mostly because of the presence of Saoirse Ronan as the lead. Everything felt pointless. No emotional resonance whatsoever. It’s stupidity is not even funny.
2. THE BIG WEDDING
An offensive and unfunny romantic comedy set in a world that even Nancy Meyers would consider unbelievably smug and over-privileged, as it was perfectly noted on Indiewire. A perfect depiction of this awful, ghastly piece of shit.
1. THE CANYONS
The biggest pile of crap however is the anticipated Bret Easton Ellis project with Lindsay Lohan and a pornstar. The acting is terrible, the production values are extremely poor and the story is boring.
Check out my review for more details.
What did you consider to be the worst of 2013?